Izzy and Moe
After the 18th amendment went into effect at 12:01 A.M. January 17th, 1920, 16,000 saloons in New York City went out of business and were replaced by anywhere from 30,000 to 100,000 speakeasies. With only 1500 agents in the whole country, a woefully understaffed Bureau of Prohibition was tasked with enforcing the unenforceable. But Izzy Einstein and Moe Smith, prohibition agents extraordinaire, made a comic opera and highly successful attempt.
“Dere’s sad news here. You’re under arrest.” Those were the words used by Izzy and Moe when they pinched violators of the Volstead Act. The sad news was heard by 4932 people between 1920 and 1925, with an extraordinary 95% conviction rate.
Isador Einstein was born in Tarnow, Poland, then part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, circa 1880 and emigrated to New York in 1901. The 1920 census shows him as a mail sorter for the Post Office. He applied for a job as a prohibition agent in 1920. Five foot five and 225 pounds he didn’t look the part but he convinced James Shevlin, head of the southern New York Bureau that he could blend in. He was fluent in Yiddish, Polish, German, and Hungarian, and could get by in French, Russian, and Italian. He could play the violin and trombone, too.
On his first raid, Izzy went to a speakeasy in Brooklyn that agents hadn’t been able to get into and when the peephole opened, he demanded a drink saying he was a new prohibition agent. The joke was appreciated and the drink was poured. Izzy downed it but before he could arrest the bartender, he grabbed the bottle and escaped out the back leaving Izzy with no evidence. Thereafter, Izzy rigged a funnel in a vest pocket with a rubber tube leading to a hidden flask.
Izzy’s friend Moe Smith owned a cigar store. He was a few inches taller than Izzy but weighed 250 pounds, twice his weight as a featherweight boxer in his youth. Izzy talked Moe into becoming a prohibition agent and the pair were off into the headlines.
Izzy impersonated “a German pickle packer, a Polish count, a Hungarian violinist, a Jewish gravedigger, a French maitre d’, an Italian fruit vendor, a Russian fisherman and a Chinese launderer. His disguises included a streetcar conductor, an ice deliverer, an opera singer, a truck driver, a judge, a traveling cigar salesman, a street cleaner, a Texas cattleman, a movie extra, a football player, a beauty contest judge, a grocer, a lawyer, a librarian, a rabbi, a college student, a musician, a plumber and a delegate from Kentucky to the Democratic National convention,” according to the SUNY Potsdam web site.
“In Coney Island, he entered a drinking joint in a wet bathing suit, shivering and gasping for aid. Wearing an attendant’s white jacket, he shut another saloon near a hospital.” “Izzy once tossed his agent’s badge on the bar of a Bowery saloon and — this fat, unkempt individual — asked for a pint of whisky for ‘a deserving prohibition agent.’ The bartender sold it to him, thinking him a great wit,” reported a Canadian Masonic web site in a reprint from Empire State Mason magazine. (Izzy and Moe were both Masons, which is probably how they met.)
Izzy was proud of one his early exploits. There was a a wet parade up Fifth Avenue on July 4, 1921, with bands playing How Dry I Am, and a sign with a quote from the Bible “Use a little wine for they stomach’s sake” (1 Timothy 5:23). Izzy marched in the parade and “He followed some of them into the by-paths, with devastating effect on the unsuspecting dealers in the very article for which the demonstrators were perspiringly parading,” said Truman H. Talley in the New York Times March 26, 1922.
In Detroit, a newspaper article announced that Izzy was in town. Izzy got into an argument with the bartender in a speakeasy by insisting that the agent’s name was Izzy Epstein. The bartender bet Izzy drinks on the house that it was Einstein. When shown the newspaper, Izzy conceded defeat, paid for the drinks, and pinched the bartender.
The Smithsonian web site tells a story of Izzy and Moe going into a cabaret as violinists dressed in tuxedos. They “sat down and asked a waiter for some ‘real stuff.’ The waiter consulted with the proprietor, who thought he recognized the musicians as performers from a nightclub down the street.”
“‘Hello, Jake,’ he called to Izzy. ‘Glad to see you. Enjoyed your music many a time.’ He told the waiter to serve the musicians anything they wanted. Moments later, the proprietor approached their table and asked if they might play ‘something by Strauss’ for the room.” “‘No,’ Izzy replied, ‘but I’ll play you the ‘Revenue Agent’s March’. He flashed his badge, and the proprietor suffered a heart attack on the spot.”
Time Magazine reported Oct 31, 1932 in a review of his book (see below) that at a German beer-garden, “Izzy made so much noise he was asked to sing a solo, which he did with great gusto. Then he announced: ‘This concludes the evening’s entertainment, ladies & gentlemen. The place is pinched. For I am Izzy Einstein, the Prohibition Agent.’”
Izzy was fast, too. He found liquor in 21 minutes in Chicago, 17 minutes in Atlanta, and in New Orleans an impressive 35 seconds: he got into a cab, asked where he could get a drink and the cabby turned around and offered to sell a him a bottle.
Moe told a story of how famous they had become. “‘One time we went from Monticello to Port Jervis on the train, and the engineer, when we got to Port Jervis, got off and ran from gin mill to gin mill yelling ‘they’re coming, Izzy and Moe is coming.’ Talk about Paul Revere!’”
— From Izzy’s obituary in The Milwaukee Journal February 18,1938.
Sometimes the disguises didn’t work. On Palm Sunday, they put pieces of palm in their hats and went into a saloon owned by an Irishman. Izzy said “He took one look at me, then at the palm in my hat and said: ‘Get the hell out of here. What do you think this is, Yom Kippur?’” reported the Times April 10, 1922.
There are hundreds of stories, best summarized by a listing of headlines of some of the 45 articles I was able to uncover about Izzy and Moe in the New York Times, in date order.
• Izzy Einstein in Disguise. Posing as Butcher, Dry Agent Arrests Employees in Drug Store. July 5, 1921
• Izzy the Rum Hound Tells How It’s Done. Champion Hootch Hunter Says Keen Scent Protects New York Agents From Poisonous Liquor. January 1, 1922
• Dry Raid Empties Jack’s Secret Room. January 7, 1922
• Rum Stills Found Near a Graveyard. Izzy Einstein, Posing as a Farmer Seizes Two Plants in Barns Up-State. Raiding Party in Sleigh. January 26, 1922
• Gentiles Lose Wine Ordered By Rabbis. Izzy Einstein Seizes Truck Load After One Buyer Admits He Is a Protestant. January 28, 1922
• Izzy and Moe Raid Thespian Retreat. Beguile Occupants With Tank Town Tales and Order Auto Load of Scotch. February 26, 1922
• Izzy, Ebon In Hue, Raids Rum Bazaar. March 3, 1922 Izzy and Moe in Harlem “with blackened faces and hands and a fluent flow of negro dialect.”
• Izzy ‘Grave Digger’ Captures 3 Stills. Einstein and Fellow Agents Wield Spades to Stalk Moonshine Plant. March 4, 1922
• Izzy and Moe Make Sunday Liquor Raids. Rum In Talking Machine. New Hiding Place Yields Seven Quarts. April 17, 1922
• ‘Izzy’ Seizes ‘Nozo’, 3% At 20 Cts. a Pint. They Call It Beer, but It’s Made of Bread and It has More Kick Than Volstead Allows. April 22, 1922
• Face on Barroom Wall Was Izzy’s. But No One Recognized the Dangerous Einstein as He Stood Undisguised Beneath It. June 27, 1922
• Sees Izzy and Moe, Bartender Faints. Another Collapses and Doctor Is Required When Dry Agents Reveal Identity. July 17, 1922
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